The One Where I Fell Asleep

So I've been getting over the plague recently. Not the actual PLAGUE, but whatever virus garbage that has been going around that everyone seems to be getting lately.

Said in best diet commercial voice.. "I lost nine pounds in 36 hours on the Norovirus diet! Thanks total dehydration!!!!"

Needless to say, this has put a halt on my dating escapades. Also, my total disinterest in dealing with meeting new people. It comes and goes in waves. The tide is turning toward hermit.

At any rate. I'm getting over the gunk when I am asked to hang out with a guy. This guy is a repeat offender (she says in the nicest possible way) so I knew it would be no big deal. We collectively are pretty low key, and low key is what I need right now. So an evening sponsored by Netflix and yoga pants is not something I will turn down. Especially because, well, I like him a lot. We have been spending a lot of time together and I figure, here's my chance to see if he can deal with me at not my best.

I forgot though that I was not yet 100% back to normal health. I am no dating superman. And fifteenish minutes into the movie, I fell asleep.

But not just like... light nap. I was sleep through an earthquake, drooling on myself, mumbling in Russian, probably farting (oh shit, I just realized I probably was farting) in a coma sleep. The kind where you aren't sure if you're asleep for three minutes or three hours. I'm still unclear on this one.

I have no idea what the guy did during this time. In a perfect world he also fell asleep. Or reorganized his closet. Or put together a 5000 piece puzzle. Or solved world hunger.

I think that waking up on a couch of drool when you're 30 and its only 7:30pm is much more embarrassing than those girls who make the walk of shame in college. It's still light out for fuck sake. And nobody got laid. Which is a good thing, bc we were in grandma undwear city, folks.

Luckily, he's a nice guy and didn't make me feel bad or embarrassed about it.

He said next week, once I'm back to 100% health, that he wants to take me out to a fancy dinner somewhere.  I don't know what exactly is involved in a fancy dinner, but I'm sure I'll manage to screw it up somehow. I'll be sure to let you know all about it.